The world spins madly on

Growing up I pictured myself as a world renowned doctor finding cures for things like cancer and AIDS, a little grandiose I know. But when we’re kids no one warns us and prepares us for the bumps and burnt bridges that we comes to along the way. Most of us grow up dreaming that by the time we’re in our mid twenties we will be married with a perfect family, white picket fence, and dream job. The reality is your dream future is what you make of it. 

When I graduated college at 22 I thought by the time I was 25 I would be getting at least my masters degree and moving on to my doctorate. One friend of mine just became the first author on a published article, another friend is one year away from graduating pharmacy school. My oldest brother just got married for the second time and my older brother owns his own house with his girlfriend. As one could imagine being single with a mediocre job and no closer to my masters degree than I was three years ago makes things look a little bleak at times. 

Those bleak times were the inspiration for this blog, because I know I can’t be the only 20- something year old who has moments where I have no idea where my life is headed. That goes for all aspects of my life: career, love, relationships, maturity. Being a grown up is much harder than the pretty picture we were painted as children.

Even as teenagers we have this romanticized outlook on how adulthood should be. We grow up watching shows like Friends or Sex in the City and we think that we will have the best friend for the rest our lives. Truth is friends come and go based on where we are in our lives, for example at this point in my life I feel that going out downtown and getting drunk several times during the week just isn’t for me right now, mostly because the amount of recuperation time needed continues to grow. So right now hanging out with friends who like to party wouldn’t be in the best interest of anyone involved, I would be a party pooper and they would be bad influences.

Love is somethings else that I’ve learned will come when the time is right. We create this fairy tale about how falling in love should happen, like the Disney princesses we wished to be. Again reality will set in, we can’t be open to love until we can stand on our own two feet with nothing left to lose and say “I’m okay”. Once I began growing a serious relationship I realized everything that happened in past relationships happened because I truly wasn’t ready for a real relationship. Love means making compromises and sacrifices and until recently I wasn’t ready to do that for anyone. Yes this lesson came with a lot of heart ache, and things may have been easier if I had known I didn’t want to be serious with any of these potentials but then I wouldn’t have learned what I do want in a serious relationship.

Every decision we make has a risk that goes along with it, if we don’t take risks then we live in fear, either way the world spins madly on.


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